Friday, February 16, 2024

Living with Diabetes

Diabetes. What is it? What's the remedy? Can be cured? Who gets it? Why? Are they any benefits of whatsoever in keeping it n maintaining it? 

Every word in this blog represents my personal opinions, feelings, research, exposure  observations, and experiences unless otherwise specifically mentioned. 

I was diagnosed with 'Glucose intolerance' in 1996. The reason for testing was urinary infection. Doctor tried a couple of medications and still the infection didn't go away. So, my gyne asked me to go for a few tests n one of it was Glucose intolerance.

A little story behind all this. There will be a story or history for everything in general. Not to make the situation interesting but for better understanding of the context n  the sequence.

I got married in 1996. Like any newly married couple, for various reasons, we wanted to plan our future and family. During that time in India, a contraceptive pill was introduced in the market. 'SAHELI'. The dosage is something like you take the pill for the first 3 months everyday and after that once a week. My MIL's Gyne prescribed that to me. After my Glucose intolerance test came positive, I started thinking about the pill. Eventually Saheli was taken off the market within one year. I am not sure why. Many years later, after a couple of abortions, one of the doctors told me that probably the high dosage of harmonies present in the contraceptive pill, my body had a shock n I became diabetic. The beginning. (???!!!!). [Possibility 1]

During my doctor's visits, there was always a list of standard questions.

1. Are you thirsty all the time ?
2. Are you always hungry?
3. Do you have often an urge to pass urine?
4. How good is your sleep?
5. How bad is your stress?
6. Do you smoke?
7. Do you drink? How often?
8. Are you a vegetarian? Non vegetarian?

Then standard instructions - 
1. Don't eat rice.
2. If you eat rice, not more ghan 100 grms per meal.
3. Don't drink buttermilk.
3. Don't eat sugar.
4. Don't eat bread.
5. Don't eat buiscuits.
6. Indian food is oily. (?!?) Don't eat curry. 
7. Idli, no good. Don't eat.
8. Sambar no good. Don't eat.
9. Dal, peas, chickpea etc protein. Hurts kidney. Don't eat.
10. Don't stress.
11. Don't.  . . . . . .   

There was anything hardly an advise to do to improve my condition.

Now I think that those poor doctors n nurses in 90s must have went through hell not understanding what they are doing n what they are supposed to do.

At that time, We were living in Singapore. I was newly introduced to that country. Diabetes was a new disease those days with not much research or study or understanding. Medical professionals were like Gods playing with mere mortals. New  Drugs, methods, ideas were given n introduced so often that at one point I thought that no more guinea pigs left in labs that we human patients are being used for research.

Two years into Singapore, I became pregnant. Unplanned. I went to see doctor. He advised me to get admitted into hospital immediately. He said, baby may born with autism or with no limbs etc because I am a diabetic. I went blank. Nobody close enough to discuss. I was in hospital for almost 7 days. Day 2 I asked for the doctor who got me admitted. I was told that he went to Australia n will be back in 15 days. Everyday  different doctor. Same questions n same answers. Those days no vegetarian options in food served. (Of course it didnt get better last time i was checked into Eng Teng Fong, few years ago). One cup rice. One cup boiled cabbage (usually). I cup clear soup. Twice a day,  1 tsp Milo mixed in 250 ml water. 2 buiscuits with every cup of milo. After three days I felt like running away as I was damn hungry! Every 2 hrs a prrick on a finger to check blood Glucose. Dutifully every day morning n evening, an advise from nurse to opt for an abortion n not to take any chance as the baby may be born 'diffective'. I called my dad in India. He asked me to come home. Our family doc simply said, 'diabetes? So what? We deliver babies in India in every  ondition. Come home! '

On 7th day an Indian doctor, Gurdeep Singh (I can never forget the name as he saved me n my daughter.) visited n asked why I am there. After listening to me, he turned to the nurse, n said, ' she is Indian! Fir God's sake if you don't feed her properly, forget about Glucose levels, she will die here of hunger. I am signing discharge.' Even today I thank him. I got discharged, took the next flight, went home. After 8 months Delivered a beautiful perfect baby girl. End of another chapter of life with Diabetes highlighted!

There was an is way for doctors n medical field escape from n hide their incapability. Genetics. I get a rash, doctor asks "anyone in yur family has diabetes?" (POSSIBILITY 3) I change countries or doctors, to create a new medical file, in data collection, routine question. It's like a disclaimer. "Don't blame me if my treatment doesn't work. Blame your genetics!" I had pevilage to see great grandfather n great grandmother on both sides of my family. They passedaway peacefully. None of them were diabetics. Not even my grand fathers n grand mothers from both sides of my parents. So where did this mutation started where research found that diabetics is genetic?  When did it happen? Why n how did it started? A very valid topic to research on to find the root cause. To save mankind n survive from extinction. 

After so much of experience with medicines n doctors, I started believing that everyone should get knowledge of their disease n get to chose their medication. Like doctor gets a degree, patients should have certification course on their disease. I came to this stage when a doctor said, "we start giving medication hoping that it works on you. If it works, well n good for both of us. Otherwise we change. Our guess is as good as yours" (!?!?!?) 
Avandia. It's a drug for diabetes. Greatly researched n proudly introduced in Singapore as wellwishers of public n big brothers to 'eradicate' diabetes from roots! Dutifully  I brought home the 'elixir' truly believing that that's the end of my so called life threatening ticking time bomb diabetes! To me, My doctor looked like God himself!  2 doses, that's it. My whole body swollen up. My ankles n knees throbbed with pain. My feet didn't fit into my work shoes!!! After 36 hrs from first dose, I found myself crying n not able to get out of the bed! I called clinic. Nurse listened. Very patiently to all my plight. Asked me to wait n after few minutes, picked up the phone and said, 'I don't see your symptoms in the list of side effects. Take a panadol and continue with the medication.'. I got confused n told her' may be you should include these symptoms and update Your records (?!) She simply advised me to continue with the medicatin n come back after 2 months for regular check up n review. Of course I made the decision not to take the medication. After 2 days my body looked normal. I was able to get out of bed and walk. After a few years, in a medical  news I read that FDA banned Avandia in America. Reason being majority of patients who took the medication died of fluid retention  leading to heart attack. However beyond my belief, the drug is still available in the market! Supporting Euthanasia?

Around 2005, in Singapore a test for vitamin B12 was introduced. Again my duty as guinea pig was called for. Very obediently, willingly hoping for a miracle, I stood in front of diagnostic office, gave sample. By this time I stopped feeling any pain when blood was extracted from my arm. Went home and waited for a call from my doc. Again felt I am on edge of a miracle.  Doctor read my report, paused, and said, 'your diabetes is the result of high deficiency of vitB12!' (POSSIBILITY 4). I don't know how n why but it sounded fabulous! Though as a vegetarian, my B12 diet options are limited, I felt I am finally on the path to reverse my diabetes!

 WRONG! Many years later, during my treatment for 
Neurological condition, I was told that my system is damaged  because of a basic entry level  medication for diabetes, prescribed to all biginners -  'Metformin'. Research proved that  Metformin blocks B12 absorption! My doubt. Are the pharmaceutical companies making sure that the condition of a diabetic person gradually deteriorate n forever lives with no hope to recover and forever drug dependent? 

IN 2009, I was introduced to insulin. After that,  Everytime during review, my doctor had concerns. Sugar levels were never under control.  So, he increased insulin dosage. At one point of time, I was taking 30 units of insulin 3 times a day with every meal. BTW, Metformin 150 mg with every meal also continued. 
Few years ago, through another self observation Phase, I realised that, my body is not responding to any diabetic medicine. Now I think the condition might have started long ago n no doctor felt like checking or rather medical diagnosis conveniently  has not developed in that angle which benefits patients n a loss to pharmaceuticals. 

Another inevitable Phase of my life n any woman's, is MENOPAUSE  (POSSIBILITY  5). My earlier readings or gained knowledge to prepare are all proven junk to my actual experience. The most instable Phase of my life. A total nonsense. I had most erratic n unstable harmones, sugar levels, blood pressure, energy levels, life, n doctors. The worst were the doctors. They think by reading a few books few years written by someone , by prescribing a few mwdicines cooked up by someone in a lab, they become Gods! Very busy minting money to fulfill their dreams n pay ack their educational loans, these robots are proved to be senseless n insensitive. A doctor almost killed me with his idea of treatment n medication! I got sort of angry thinking why they didn't treat me for my  stress or harmonies or menopause if the doctors already knew, Which they claim they new, that all these external factors increase my sugar levels n got nothing to do directly with my pancreas or insulin. 

So, what's next? I am understanding that at this rate, death is a simple solution for diabetes. And its too not at all simple for diabetics. Its slow and extremely painful. What actually happens to body? Organs deteriorate slowly. Nerves damage. Diabetic neuropathy. Can lead to organ failure n painful amputation of limbs. Stroke. Kidney failure.  Liver failure. Ugly patches on skin. Skin rashes. Low immunity. Diabetic retinopathy. Can lead to slow deteoration of eye sight n total blindness etc etc

Available medications in the market are absolutely of no help.  However we, diabetics, take the medication hoping for a miracle n with every pill remind ourself that we are one step closure to end n that too a very painful end.  

To live a slightly possible cushioned Last few years of my life, I moved to millet diet. I eat more vegetables. More protein. Less carbs. Drink atleast 3 liters of water. Anything sweet is poison to me. Whoever offers sweet to me are my murderers. I take food from nature. Man made is proven n corrupted. 

Couple of months after publushing the contents of this blog, I came across microbiomes. I started reading, taking notes, n charting. I have a strong feeling that my diabetes condition has strong microbiome impact (POSSIBILITY6). I am born with a slightly weaker constitution.  When I first went to Singapore in 1996, I fancied processed food. First time I was exposed to so much variety of packed food, I started picking up everything that could eat. Cereals, soups, padta, pizza etc. At the Sametime, I had UTI. I clearly remember that the doc treated the infection for months with a variety of antibiotics. My immune system was murdered. My colds n coughs  used to be so bad that I used to suffer for months. Again treated with variety of antibiotic concoctions. I doubt these heavy doses of antibiotics killed my gut microbiome. Which resulted in disruption to my nutrition absorption. Which caused a poor ecosystem in my body. My cell membrane is corrupted with malice data. Resulted in absorption of wrong substance. Resulted in spiked Glucose levels n no response to any medication clinically proven to be 'diabetic' medicines Which are developed to produce artificial insulin in my body. No. I believe that my body doesn't need anymore insulin. My body needs a repairs to system to absorb nutrition to improve my metabolism, n stamina. Once this is done, my organs will be back to efficient functioning. No more wrong signals.

When i see a new sweet shop open, bakery inagurated or see cooking shows with no hint of nutrition, anyone celebrate with cake cutting, sweets distributed in festivals, 24 hr TV shows n entertainment luring away humans from physical activities,  restaurents promoting 'rich' food, I think, this is one way humans are going to end their race on earth. Eat their way to extinction.

I don't understand why governments don't  stop sugar factories. Pass a law so that sugar is considered as murder weapon. 

Humans, next time you offer sugar to your kids, grand kids, loved ones, be aware that you are wishing them a painful death.